12.24.2013

Tourist Appeal for Lomié


In light of the previous post, I figured I should publish a tourist call for Lomié. Here goes my best shot:

Come to Lomié, the random city in the middle of nowhere rainforest! Here you can see all sorts of endangered wildlife such as monkeys, pangolin, tiger-cats, and lievres…all dead and ready to eat. If live wildlife is more your thing, we have our fair share of mice, rats, cockroaches, lizards, goats, and cows to tickle your fancy.

Accommodation is easy to find! If the Raffia Hotel is too far out of town for your liking, you can stay at the other lovely hotels in town – aka Grant’s, Danny’s, and my house. If you wisely choose my home, let it be known you will either be sharing my lovely rain-wrecked bed with me or sleeping on the living room floor where you can experience Lomie’s wildlife (see aforementioned ‘live animals’) up-close and personal!

If you are looking for the real ‘African’ experience, the travel to Lomié will alone give you that. While the road is nauseatingly bumpy, you will be distracted by the scenic landscape outside of your dust covered window. If you are lucky, you will taste villagois bush meat food yourself when stuck on the road for the night somewhere between nowhere and nowhere.

If history is your thing, never fear! Your encounter with history will begin before you reach Lomié. You can see trees that are thousands of years old being hauled out of the rainforest! Think, these trees existed during or before many of Africa’s great civilizations! If colonial history is your thing, Lomié will provide the history and architecture buff in you with plenty of colonial German architecture throughout Lomié, now either left to ruin or being used for contemporary government buildings.

If you like nightlife, never fear, Lomié has got you covered! Make sure to pack your King Arthur sachets for the voyage to Lomié so that you are ready to hit the bars and one of Lomié’s two nightclubs when you arrive. When you arrive, merely cross the intersection and you have arrived at Polygone night club (with bardancing as advertised on their sign), fully equipped with an empty dance floor, blaring African music, and packed full of drunks that will love to practice their English on you.


So please, come to Lomié!  You won’t regret it.

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